Drama

Featured piece: The Trial of Ignatius Vesper

by Mark Schiller '20

Based on the following writing prompt by @writing.prompt.s:

“New technology allows the courts to extract memories from suspects to prove their guilt or innocence, although the suspect permanently loses the memory that was extracted. This results in a nearly flawless conviction rate, but no one in jail can remember what they’re in for.”

This play is a work of fiction. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental. I repeat, this play is a work of fiction. However, more importantly it is a warning, lest you follow in the footsteps of fiery Ignatius Vesper.

*****************************************************************

The stage is set up with two different sets: a courtroom set stage left, and a hallway set stage right, separated by a door. There is a single bench in the hallway set and multiple benches in the courtroom set.

The following quote is projected onto the stage prior to the commencement of the play: “We must act out passion before we can feel it.” –Jean-Paul Sartre

Everyone except BAILIFF and JUDGE enters stage right, passes through hallway set, through door, and into courtroom set.

Enter BAILIFF stage right, through hallway set and door, into courtroom set

BAILIFF: All rise.

Everyone stands

BAILIFF: The Court of the First Judicial Circuit, Criminal Division is now in session. The Honorable Judge Ricardo Crepúsculo presidin’.

Enter JUDGE stage right, through hallway set and door, into courtroom set

BAILIFF: You may be seated.

Everyone sits

JUDGE: Good morning, ladies and gentlemen. Now calling the case of the People of the State of Hawaii versus Ignatius Vesper. Will the Bailiff please swear in the jury?

BAILIFF: Will the jury please stand and raise your right hand?

JURORS stand and raise their right hands

BAILIFF: Do you solemnly swear that you will try this case before you, and, to the best of your ability, render a true verdict and a fair sentence to this defendant, so help you God?

JURORS: I do.

BAILIFF: You may be seated.

JURORS sit

JUDGE: Is the prosecution ready?

DISTRICT ATTORNEY: Ready for the People, Your Honor.

JUDGE: Is the defense ready?

DEFENSE ATTORNEY: Yes, Your Honor.

JUDGE: The prosecution may make its opening statement.

DISTRICT ATTORNEY stands

DISTRICT ATTORNEY: Your Honor and ladies and gentlemen of the jury, the defendant has been charged with the crime of—

At the word “crime” DEFENDANT suddenly sits up straight and looks at the DISTRICT ATTORNEY, as if he is awoken from a trance

DEFENDANT: What? What is going on?

JUDGE: Mr. Vesper, please, settle down.

DEFENDANT stands, ignoring the JUDGE

DEFENDANT: What crime?

JUDGE: Mr. Vesper!

DEFENDANT: I didn’t do anything!

JUDGE: Mr. Vesper, if you do not settle down this instant, I will be forced have you removed from this court.

DEFENDANT: I demand these charges be dropped at once!

JUDGE: Bailiff, get him out of here.

DEFENDANT, while being dragged out of the courtroom into the hallway by the BAILIFF: Let me go! Let me go right now! I’m innocent, why won’t you—

Lights fade in courtroom set, lights on in hallway set

BAILIFF: Aw shut up already. It ain’t like they can hear you out here. The door’s soundproof.

DEFENDANT: Don’t you understand? I shouldn’t be here! I’m innocent!

BAILIFF: Yeah buddy, you ain’t the first person to turn out like this. That damned machine.

BAILIFF sits on bench in hallway

DEFENDANT: Machine?

BAILIFF: Yeah, memory extractor. The Army invented it a couple years back for interrogation. Just got cleared last month for use in court.

DEFENDANT sits next to BAILIFF

DEFENDANT: I don’t follow. Memory extractor?

BAILIFF: Yeah. They suck the memories outta your head to prove if you’re innocent or guilty. Makes you forget stuff though.

DEFENDANT: So you're saying I committed a crime but I can’t remember it? I don’t believe it!

BAILIFF: Yeah, it comes as a shock to everybody they do it to. Do you know what day today is?

DEFENDANT: Monday.

BAILIFF: No, I mean the date.

DEFENDANT: February 13th. Tomorrow's Valentine’s Day. You’re gonna let me go soon right? I need to pick up some flowers for my wife.

BAILIFF: Oh boy! They really whammied you there!

DEFENDANT: What?

BAILIFF: It’s August. August 28th. They wiped six months of your memory.

DEFENDANT: What?! No!

BAILIFF: Peek through the keyhole and tell me what you see.

DEFENDANT: Don’t change the subject! You’re telling me that I just, what, forgot six months of my life? How is that even possible!

BAILIFF: Just do what I say. I’ll explain everything to you.

DEFENDANT walks to door and looks through keyhole

DEFENDANT: Okay… There’s a man in a white coat taking the stand. Some sort of doctor?

Spotlight on DOCTOR taking witness stand in courtroom set

BAILIFF: Doctor Downfall.

DEFENDANT: Excuse me?

DEFENDANT turns away from door and faces BAILIFF, spotlight off

BAILIFF: That’s what they call him. Doctor Downfall. ‘Cause your fate rests in his hands, you see. He’s the one who invented the machine. He’s the one who extracted your memory, too.

DEFENDANT sits next to BAILIFF

DEFENDANT: How does his machine work?

BAILIFF: Well I don’t know all the details, but I do know it runs on a big magnet. You know how if you hold your credit card against a magnet then it doesn’t work no more? It’s like that, but it pulls the memories outta your brain.

DEFENDANT: Is there any way to get my memory back?

BAILIFF: Well, nobody knows yet. I heard the Doctor’s been working on it for a while. Anyways, he’s takin’ the stand at the moment. He has your memory saved as a video. He’s gonna show it to the jury. And then your attorney’s gonna say it’s a violation of your Miranda Rights. That’s the same argument they use, every single time. It never works though. So far there’s been a one hundred percent conviction rate.

DEFENDANT: So there’s nothing I can do?

BAILIFF: Just wait and see. If there’s nothin’ incriminatin’ in the memory then you’ll be free to go. But otherwise, if it shows the charges are true, no lawyer in the world can get you outta this one. If the jury sees you commit a crime with their own eyes, they won’t listen to a single thing the defense says.

BAILIFF extracts a pack of gum from his pocket. He takes one piece for himself and offers another to the DEFENDANT, who declines (non-verbally). DEFENDANT and BAILIFF sit in silence for some time while BAILIFF chews gum.

Enter FOREMAN OF THE JURY from courtroom set through door to hallway set

FOREMAN: Sirs, the jury has finished deliberating and has reached a verdict. Please return to the courtroom in order to hear it.

Exit FOREMAN from hallway set through door to courtroom set

BAILIFF: Okay buddy, this is it.

Exit BAILIFF and DEFENDANT from hallway set through door to courtroom set

Lights fade in hallway set, lights on in courtroom set

JUDGE: Mr. Foreman, please rise.

FOREMAN stands up

JUDGE: Mr. Foreman, has the jury reached a verdict?

FOREMAN: Yes, your honor. As to the charge of two counts of murder in the third degree, we the jury find the defendant guilty.

DEFENDANT: No!

JUDGE: Mr. Foreman, is that verdict unanimous?

FOREMAN: Yes, your honor.

JUDGE: The verdict is unanimous. The defendant has been found guilty of two counts of murder in the third degree. We will reconvene in 72 hours to determine sentencing. Court is now adjourned.

JUDGE bangs gavel

JUDGE: Bailiff, please take the defendant into custody.

DEFENDANT: Wait! Please, I need to see my wife!

BAILIFF: Hey…

DEFENDANT: Where is she?!

BAILIFF: Buddy…

DEFENDANT: She should have been here! Where is she?!

BAILIFF: Hey, buddy.

DEFENDANT: What?

BAILIFF: That’s why you’re here. You killed your wife.

DEFENDANT: No!

BAILIFF: The jury saw the whole thing. You killed her.

DEFENDANT: It’s not true! I didn’t kill her!

BAILIFF: Look buddy… I wasn’t supposed to tell you this… And I didn’t want you to find out like this… But it’s true…

BAILIFF reaches into his pocket and removes a photograph

BAILIFF: Look at this.

DEFENDANT: No, I don’t want to see it!

BAILIFF holds photograph in front of DEFENDANT’s face while DEFENDANT closes his eyes and covers his face with his hands

BAILIFF: I said look at this. This is what happened to your wife. You did this to her. Look at her body. Do you remember now? Do you remember now?!

DEFENDANT lowers his hands, opens his eyes, looks at the photograph, and begins to cry

DEFENDANT: I remember… I remember now… I’m sorry… I didn’t mean to… I just saw her there… I got home from work early that day… I wanted to surprise her with flowers for Valentine’s Day and… I saw her in bed with another man… And I couldn’t take it… She was my soulmate… I loved her… And to see her like that… So I grabbed the lamp that was next to the bed… And I hit him with it and then I hit her… And then I ran because… Because I was scared… And I was angry and upset but I was so sad because I loved her and I didn’t mean to hurt her and I knew I shouldn’t have done it but it was too late and there was nothing I could do about it because I had already killed them both… I’m so sorry… I’m so sorry, Lola, I didn’t mean to hurt you… I love you…

BAILIFF: Aw come on buddy, I understand. It was a crime of passion, that don’t mean it was your fault. Passion is somethin’ that all of us got. Sometimes it’s good and sometimes it ain’t. And this time it got the better of you. It got outta hand. That passion exploded and you did what you did. I know you didn’t mean it. But even though it could have happened to anybody, they’re still gonna punish you for it. Y’know buddy, it’s just the way it is.

Lights fade

Quiet Mountain

By The 12th Grade Writing for Performance Class

SCENE I: JC + Dougie intro scene (2 minutes)

Characters: JC + Dougie + Chess + Goth + Croquet + Water Aerobics

 

Standing out front of assembly building. New students are all talking about different things. Penelope cuts off convos and gather attention.  Chess club is on one side of the stage playing chess before the assembly. Water aerobics are on the other side practicing their routine. Goths are roaming around.

 

PENELOPE
Alright New Students! Hello and welcome to your first official day of school. We are going to enter this building here soon and start our first official assembly!

 

ESTEBAN

Oh I don’t know bout’ this J.C. I’m looking around this place and starting to work up some anxiety about this whole thing.

 

JC

All I can say is we aren’t in Costa Rica anymore Esteban.  

 

Spotlight on chess club

 

MR. SPASSKY

Come on!  D5 to F8!? How bout’ D5 to F You!  Get your head in the game or get out!

 

Spotlight on goth group

 

BELLA

Conformist pigs.  Look at them.  How they walk, how they talk, how they listen. Look at that Britney her optimism kills me more than i’m already dying.  God!

 

BLAZE

Hey look at the new kids. You think they shop at hot topic?

 

BELLA

Build a goth.

 

RAVEN

You think they listen to ‘My Chemical Romance’?

 

BLAZE

That kids wearing blue. Conformist Fony.   

 

BELLA

Fony.

 

RAVEN

Fony!

 

Spotlight on croquet group

 

DESTINY

Listen up, croqueters. I know we are all trying to forget our performance last year in the finals against the Dupont High Whittakers, but I can guarantee this year is going to be a different story!

 

DIGGY

Destiny, you are so pretty.

 

DESTINY

Diggy, did you just listen to anything I said!


 

Spotlight back on JC and Esteban, and water aerobics group.

 

JC

Who are those kids over there?

 

Very faintly

 

BRITANY

5, 6, 7, 8! No Pon! Jesus christ!  


 

AZHAR

Water aerobics group. They call themselves the “Rubber Duckies.” I don't get it.

 

JC

Hm… Rubber Duckies you say. (Staring intently at Brittany)


 

ESTEBAN  

She is out of your league JC. Stay away. We are here to go to school, not fall in love.

 

Esteban rants in spanish

 

JC

I know… Yet, I see. I want. I desire.  (starts swooning in spanish)

 

PENELOPE

Alright new students it is time to start assembly, everyone please follow me!

 

BELL

 

Everyone walks off stage. JC stays behind and speaks to himself/to the audience

 

JC

A rubbery ducky. That’s what she is and that is what I must become…

 

Runs after new student group


 

SCENE II: Assembly + New Student introductions(3 minutes)

Characters: Penelope and Vanessa + all new students

 

PENELOPE

 

Faces the audience and raises hands signaling cheer. Three crowd members (who we have warned beforehand) will go up in cheer, and hopefully the rest of the crowd will join in

 

Welcome back everyone. Can we get a new school year cheer for Quiet Mountain High!!! Get settled and we’ll start the first assembly of the semester! I’m looking forward to having a great year!! For those who don’t know me, I’m Penelope, your student body vice president and president of the welcoming committee.

 

VANESSA

Onto more important things, my name is Vanessa, I am the student body president.

 

PENELOPE

And we’re so stoked - I mean SOOOO STOKED. for this school year!  I think it’s gonna be the best one yet.

VANESSA

Sure it will be.

 

PENELOPE

I know there are a few things we need to cover today, including announcements, but first I would like to introduce some of our new students so that you all can get familiar with their faces. Can Azhar, Xander, Quinn, Soraka, and the Costa Rican brothers please come up and say a little about themselves!

AZHAR

My name is Azhar, but you can call me Izzy and I am an exchange student from Kazakhstan.

 

  SORAKA

Stands awkwardly, says nothing

XANDER

Hey, Im XANDER from Montreal.

 

Swigs maple syrup

QUINN

Nervous, stuttering

 

Hey, umm my name is Pizza and my favorite food is Quinn. I mean-! Awww frick.

 

JC

Hola todos! I am Juan Carlos Santiago-Dominguez Hernandez Rodriguez Martinez Smith, but you can call me JC.

 

DOUGIE

And I am Esteban Santiago-Dominguez Hernandez Rodriguez Martinez Smith, but you can call me Dougie. JC’s brother.

 

PENELOPE

Wow. Such a diverse group of new students. Let’s hear it for them! Come on new students woohoo!

 

Crickets

VANESSA

Okayyyy onto announcements.


 

SCENE III: Announcements(3 minutes)

Characters: Penelope and Vanessa, Greg and Pon, Spassky, Blaze and Bella, Diggy and Destiny

 

PENELOPE

Speaking to Vanessa

 

Oh wait! Don’t forget to tell them about...

 

Vanessa looks confused for a second

 

Penelope takes microphone back

 

PENELOPE

Looks up at the sky

‘and I'M the VICE president. Really?’


Anyways, the social event of the season is coming up! Any guesses? Any?

 

*Crickets*

 

Ok… well it’s HOMECOMING!!!! And the theme-

 

VANESSA

Is Egyptian Mystery so everyone is gonna have to get their cleopatra freak on!!

 

WHITE PANTHER

Stands up out of seat

 

YES!!! HECK YES!!
 

Looks around in awkward silence


VANESSA

Ok the Water Aerobics Team would like to make an announcement.

 

The water aerobics club gets up and does some synchronized choreography.

 

BRITNEY

Impressed?

GREG

Well you should be!

BRITNEY

Greg! I’m supposed to say that! UGHHHHHH! Anyways guys, it’s Britney Snitches, and if you think you can work work work like Rihanna in the water then show up for water aerobics today in the pool at 3!

 

Chess group comes up and takes the mic

 

MR. SPASSKY

Six times. Six Times!!!! Six times!!!!! Six time chess QMC Champs. Do you want to be a loser? Do you want to be dumb? Great, then don't come to chess. Don’t. Only come to chess if you are ready. Only if you are ready. TO WIN.

 

Mic drop. Stares at points at audience for a good 10 seconds.

BLAZE

Come forth to the rings of cyclical death  

 

BELLA

Room 101 @ 4pm. Goth club.

 

Death Stare. Croquet club comes up.

 

DIGGY

Hey guys um so we ummmm have a meeting for croquet today on the Jackson T W Willis Wenis Field of Croquet Champions for 5 years running.

 

DESTINY

Yep come out and join our team! Omi-gawd we can’t wait to have you.

 

Hugs diggy very tightly and smiles very fakely.

 

Mr. Poo comes on stage and takes the mic

 

MR. POO

Hello everyone I am Mr. Poo (pause) you can call me Mr. Poo. I am technically supposed to be your guidance counselor but I’d like you to consider me as more of a friend. School is stressful, life is stressful. I am here to make your life easier. You can always find me around, I watch birds a lot.

 

Students get up and leave early

 

PENELOPE

Alright everyone looks like that is all! Thank you everyone and welcome once again to the Quiet Mountain! *Shhhhh*

 

BELL

 

OH! and New Students don't forget to meet on stage after this to start our campus tours!!

 

THEME SONG!!



 

SCENE IV: THEME SONG (2 minutes)(Song: Ain't no Mountain High Enough)

Characters: All characters

(These scenes are meant to be 5-10 seconds on stage without dialogue and should reveal some aspects of each group and the character dynamics within that group)

 

New students and student council are already on stage, the rest come up. As each group passes, the new students look confused/scared slowly backing away.

 

Goth group:

Goths come out on stage and show minimal emotion. Blaze and Bella are close. Pull up their (hoodies?)

 

Chess group:

Chess players come out composed and confident, smiling and waving to the audience


Croquet group:

Croqueers come out and do some croquet related stuff, Diggy and Destiny show intimacy

 

Water aerobics:
Britney silently leads group in odd water aerobics exercises, members finish the routine and smile in gymnast pose (hands over head)

 

New/International kids:

JC and Dougie come up, do a handshake and move to the side

 

Rest of the international/new students come up and do something related to their character

BELL-- THEME SONG DOWN

Other characters:
Payton, Bianca, and Petr come out and represent their characters

 

SCENES (V, VI, VII, VIII): Campus tours

 

SCENE V: Campus tours: Chess group

Characters: Campus tours group + chess group

 

PENELOPE

Alrighty welcome new students to our campus tour!

 

VANESSA

Alright listen up dweebs. This is a big campus and I don't like walking, so we are just going to give you the footnotes and get this over with.

 

Strolling along

 

VANESSA

And on our left you’ll see we have the Chess group sporting their new uniform for the season.

 

BOBBY

Listen Vanessa, I’m SICK and TIRED of you making fun of our uniforms.

 

MAGNUS

You tell her Bobby Fisher.

 

MR. SPASSKY

Chessmates! Focus. Sorry children, we don’t have time for your fun and games. Move along.

QUINN

 

Steps out from behind the crowd of new students

 

Ooo! Ooo! I’m pretty good at chess!

 

BOBBY

Pssssh. Not a chance darling. You look suited better off in the water aerobics group.

 

MAGNUS
Ha! Good one Bobby.

 

Quinn silently stumbles her way over to the open chess table, points at Mr. Spassky, and stares him dead in the eyes. Spassky acts surprised but accepts the challenge.

 

Silent scene of Spassky and Quinn playing chess. Quinn calls check mate on Spassky. Everyone is in shock.

 

Spassky leaves stage in a rage.

 

BOBBY

Di - di- did you just beat the grand master…

 

QUINN

Like I said… I’m good at chess.

 

MAGNUS

According to the World Chess Federation Handbook, if anyone is able to beat a grandmaster level chess athlete, they are automatically admitted to the team!

 

QUINN

So… What does that mean?

 

BOBBY

It means… we need to get you a uniform.

 

QUINN

Oh… great. I love plaid.

 

VANESSA

Okay… This has all been very shocking now let’s move on.


 

SCENE VI: Campus tours: Croquet group

Characters: Campus tours group + croquet group

 

PENELOPE

Oh great! Over here everyone! We can introduce you all to the croquet team!

 

Diggy and Daphne skip along with their backs to the new student group, Daphne sits around then starts dealing drugs.

 

DIGGY

Ahhh it's such a beautiful day today.

 

DESTINY

Oh my god - yeah it is!!!

DIGGY

Well not as beautiful as you.

 

DESTINY

Oh my god - mental picture.

DIGGY

Ok ok!!! (poses very awkwardly with croquet club. Daphne rolls her eyes)

DESTINY

Perfect!  

DIGGY

Okay okay. I love you.

 

Destiny and Diggy finally notice the new kids standing there

 

DESTINY

Woah! Didn't see you there. Pause. What are we supposed to do - like tell you about our club or something.

 

VANESSA
Yeah. Or something.

DESTINY
Uh…

DAPHNE

Four time national champions.

 

DIGGY

Olympic gold medalists.

DESTINY

Have our own website.

PENELOPE

Okayyyy anyways… Moving on.

 

Campus tours group leaves stage. Croquet group and Dougie remain

DOUGIE

Uhh… Hey guys! I’m Dougie. I’m from Costa Rica.

 

DESTINY

Ooo I love Costa Rica! It’s like, paradise. So Dougie, do you know how to croquet?

DOUGIE

How to what?

DAPHNE

Croquet. If you’re just here to get an easy sport credit like the rest of us, welcome to the club. Otherwise, screw off.

 

DOUGIE

What do you mean?

DAPHNE

We never actually meet, and nobody really cares about croquet.

 

DOUGIE

Sweet!  Sounds like a good gig. I'm in! I just don’t really know how to… croquet?

 

DESTINY

Oh!  Dougie it’s super easy, I’ll teach you.  Just put your arms out front and lean side to side!

Helps Dougie with the Croquet Stick.

 

DOUGIE

Oh!  I get it!

 

DIGGY
Umm… Destiny don’t you think-

 

DOUGIE
Thanks Destiny, you were a lot of help.

Winks

 

DESTINY

Anytime Dougie.


 

SCENE VI: Campus tours: Water aerobics group

Characters: Campus tours group + water aerobics group
 

Campus tours groups enters stage right. Britney enters from stage right while completing choreography while the rest of the Water Aerobics group tries to follow along.

BRITNEY

Look guys, if you can't get down this basic choreo,*cough cough*, Jahx.  You should just leave, alright? You’re a waste.  BRITNEY takes a deep breath and looks at PON.

 

BRITNEY

OKAY! FROM THE TOP!

The members begin following along to BRITNEY’s movements.

 

BRITNEY

No Pon! 5,6,7,8,5,6,7,8,1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8!!

PON collapses and everyone is out of breath.  Greg relinques half of his water bottle on himself.  

BRITNEY

YOU GUYS ARE HOPELESS!

GREG

BRIT…

BRITNEY

Who said that?

GREG

Me.

BRITNEY

Dont.

GREG

Okay BRITNEY, but um.

BRITNEY turns around to see what GREG is pointing at.

All of the NEW KIDS and PENELOPE are standing there huddled around/behind JC.

JC

Um hola, hi, hello.

BRITNEY

OH helloooo. Are you guys new?

 

PENELOPE

Yea, today is their first day and-

 

BRITNEY

Cool cool, and more importantly have you guys joined any clubs.

 

NEW STUDENTS

No.

AZHAR

Not yet.

XANDER

I don’t know… I’ve been feeling this weird pull towards the darkness lately. I might go goth.

 

BRITNEY

Ew we hate the goths.

 

XANDER walks backwards off stage.

BRITNEY fixes her hair and snaps, JAHX hands her a water bottle.

BRITNEY takes a sip.

BRITNEY

What about you? You’d look good in a speedo.

 

Points to dougie

DOUGIE

I just joined the croquet group.

 

BRITNEY

Ew we hate them too. Sigh.

 

GREG

Well, looks like you guys showed up at the right time. We are just about to have our grueling initiation backstage in about 30 minutes. If you pass, you can join the “Rubber Duckies!”

 

BRITNEY

Yeah that’s pretty much it. Let’s go aerobicians.

 

Water aerobics + JC and Azhar exit stage left. Campus tours group exit stage right. Achmed and Dougie remain on stage.

 

DOUGIE

JC! What are you doing?

JC

You heard them. I only have to make it through the grueling initiation backstage and I’m in the club.

 

DOUGIE

Are you really leaving? Just like that?

 

JC

I mean we can’t do everything together DOUGIE. It’s not you-- it's me.

 

DOUGIE

I know, but it still hurts.

 

JC

Well.

DOUGIE

Is this goodbye?

JC

I guess.

DOUGIE and JC embrace.

BRITNEY comes back on stage.

 

DOUGIE

Goodbye brother.

Abandoned look on his face. SORAKA just stands there, bewildered and then quickly shuffles off stage right.

 

 

 

SCENE VII: Cafeteria Scene

Characters: All characters

 

Cafeteria setting. Each group sitting at a different table.

PENELOPE

Well, I hope you new students enjoyed the campus tours, now you guys will have time to mingle and meet some new people! How you spend this time is pretty much up to you all. Once again welcome to Quiet Mountain and I’ll see you guys around!

 

New kids disperse. Raven goes to sit down next to Blaze at the lunch table.

BLAZE

NO Raven! I saved this seat for my dark empress, Bella.

 

RAVEN

Oh sorry Blaze, I’ll sit on the bird crap again today… just like yesterday… and the day before that.. My life is a dark room, one… big… dark… room.

BLAZE

La dee Da da da is all I ever hear from you Raven. Goes in one ear comes out the other.

 

RAVEN

I HATE YOU XD

BLAZE

Not as much as life hates you, Raven. I’m gonna go look for Bella. Remember-- Your feelings are irrelevant to me and everyone else.

Walks away, turns around

You are irrelevant.

 

Spotlight to chess group table

 

MAGNUS

Bobby that checkmate you pulled was mind blowing! Pawn. Shattering.

 

BOBBY

Man I know!

 

MAGNUS

How do you even do it?

 

BOBBY

Well you see Magnus there is a science to it. You gotta be one step ahead. It’s part physics, part mathematics, part psychology, part just being psychic, and also pure talent.

 

MAGNUS

No wonder Coach tells me to be more like you.

 

MR. SPASSKY

*from off stage* That I do!

 

Both walk over to the table.

 

MAGNUS

Hey goth freak what are you doing sitting in BOBBY FISHER’s seat?

 

RAVEN

Thinking about my irrelevance.

 

BOBBY

Well, not to be rude, but can you go be irrelevant somewhere else?

 

RAVEN

SIGH.

RAVEN leaves.

MAGNUS

The goths are total freaks.

 

BOBBY

Well, that depends of your definition of freaks. You see Magnus, it’s a social construct. The goth’s are totally misunderstood and lacking in social acceptance and support. It’s our society that labels all individuals and we too are stuck in a mold made by society’s standards. Its an enigma Magnus.

 

MAGNUS

What?

BOBBY

Nothing, eat your food.

Quinn comes on and sees the boys but decides not to sit with them.

Britney comes on with her group. And sees Quinn and goes up to her.

BRITNEY

What’s your name? I’m Britney Snitches, but you probably already knew that.

QUINN
Um, I’m… I’m Quinn.

BRITNEY

Well Quinn, real talk, are you in a club yet?

 

QUINN

Yeah, I’m in the Chess Club, but I don’t think they like me very much... Im good at chess, but I just don’t fit in.

 

BRITNEY

So, you’re on the fence?! Perfect! Lets be bestfriends!

 

QUINN

Um okay yeah, bestfriends!

 

BRITNEY

And now that we are bestfriends you have to do whatever I say, and you are now my spy.

 

QUINN

What?

BRITNEY

I’ll check in with you later. Try to enjoy your first day!

 

QUINN
Um okay...Thanks. Quinn wonders off.

 

AZHAR and GREG enter.

GREG

Yeah BRIT...BRITNEY can be super intense sometimes, but that’s why we are so good. I mean except for Pon...

 

AZHAR

Ah Britney is so beautiful.

 

GREG

Yeah, I don’t see it.

 

AZHAR

How couldn’t you!! She is absolutely stunning.

 

GREG

Well, I mean.

AZHAR

And her eyes are extraordinary! And when she dances, she glows!

 

GREG

Alright.

AZHAR

She is a total goddess. I wish she would notice me, can you just imagine?

 

Greg just shakes his head and walks away.

 

AZHAR

Wait where are you going?

Azhar chases after him.

 

Bell rings. All disperse off stage.

Dougie and JC cross silently, tension between the two.



 

SCENE VIII: CLASSROOM

Characters: JC, Britney, Azhar, Dougie + people in class.

 

In one of the classrooms. Britney is talking to JC. Azhar comes over.

 

BRITNEY

Have you finished learning the choreography?

 

JC

Yeah, getting there.

 

AZHAR

Hey Britney!

Britney, doesn’t respond or even acknowledge Azhar’s presence. She continues to talk with JC

 

AZHAR (CONT.)

You look great today, by the way. (chuckles nervously)

Britney and JC continue talking as Azhar stands there awkwardly.

 

JC

So when is our next show?

 

BRITNEY

We have one next week, why do you ask?

 

JC

Well, I was thinking that we could…

 

Dougie comes over to JC and Britney, interrupting their conversation.

DOUGIE

Hola hermanito. Hey Britney.

 

Dougie gives her a little wink, JC stands up straighter, trying to one up his brother.

 

DOUGIE

Hey Britney this is out of the blue but… do you have a date to homecoming yet?

 

BRITNEY

Not yet, why?

 

DOUGIE

Well, would you like to go with me?

JC looks over at Dougie in shock, obviously pissed.

JC

Wha… Wha…

 

BRITNEY

Sure, I’d love to.

 

DOUGIE

Great, I can’t freakin wait!

JC stumbles off to stage left and is obviously crying.

 

BRITNEY

What’s his deal?

 

DOUGIE

I never know with him.

 

Everyone leaves stage except for JC.


 

SCENE IX: JC monologue to “Moana Theme Song”

Characters: JC

 

JC collapses onto the floor crying. Eventually he gets up and begins singing.

 

JC

I’ve been mistreated by my own brother,

Ever since I can remember

I’ll never quite no why…

 

I just wish we could be the perfect brothers

But I know that couldn’t happen

No matter how hard I try…

 

Every turn I take

Every trail I track

Every path I make

Every road leads back to the brother I know

The one that will not go

Please let me be…

He begins sobbing again and runs offstage.

 


 

SCENE X: Break up scene

Characters: Diggy and Destiny

 

Enters on stage and sit down across from each other

DIGGY

I thought we were going to the softball field?

 

DESTINY

But Diggy, I have to talk to you about something…

 

DIGGY

(cuts Destiny off mid sentence)

Wow… you're soooo gorgeous. (Starts to drool) I don’t mind JUST talking at all *gazes into eyes*

 

DESTINY

Diggy…

 

DIGGY

Yes girlfriend?

 

DESTINY

I think it's time for us to start seeing other people.

 

DIGGY

(Chuckles) Silly… I see my other friends during sunday school.

 

DESTINY

No diggy… Not like that

 

DIGGY

(Confused and scared) What do you mean?

 

DESTINY

Like… break up Diggy…

 

DIGGY

wha.. What?  What?  But, we’ve been together since second grade Destiny!  We’re co captains of croquet club! I don’t understand.

 

DESTINY

I don’t know...something is just different about this year.

 

DIGGY

But who am I going to go to homecoming with! What is it. Tell me… I’ll change I promise.

 

DESTINY

Pulls out her phone

DIGGY

Wha- what are you doing Destiny.

 

Diggy gets notification on his phone and pulls it out.

 

DIGGY

You- you broke up with me on facebook!

 

DESTINY

I’m sorry, had to make it official. I just don’t think we’re working anymore.

 

DIGGY

Well, we’ll just breakup and then get back together like most other couples, it’s like that right?

 

DESTINY

No Diggy.. It’s not.  This is it.  But I’ll always love you.  As a friend.

DIGGY

But Destiny...

 

Dramatic Exit

 


SCENE XI: Fight Scene

Characters: Everybody except Vanessa

 

Just Dougie and JC come from offstage in the midst of a serious argument.

 

JC

How could you do this to me Esteban!!! Por amor De Dios!!!! Te pasaste!!!

 

DOUGIE

Hey!!!! Cálmate!!! Let's just take this easy. What's the problem?

 

JC

What's the problem you say? (Chuckles) Here let me tell you what the problem is!!! The problem. Is. That you. Stole. THE GIRL THAT I LIKED!!!!!!!!!!

 

DOUGIE

What! It's not my fault you were too much of a freaking coward to ask her out! That's on you bro! You're just a freaking coward!!! I’m not even that surprised since you joined Water Aerobics, I mean, what were you thinking? Joining in with a bunch of losers.

 

JC

Shut up!! I freaking hate you!! You always do this stuff! Just because I'm the youngest, doesn’t mean you get to push me around. And they are not losers. You are. Screw you Esteban!!! Pours water in Dougie’s face. That's what you get!!! It's not my fault. (Mocking Dougie like how he said it before)

 

Dougie is shocked, he tries to clean the stain out of his clothes but can't and starts freaking out.

 

DOUGIE

JC! This is my favorite shirt! It'll stay like this forever!!! Ahora si te la mamaste Juan Carlos!! You gonna regret that!!! I’ll freaking kill you!!!

 

Fight sequence ensues

 

All characters flood from offstage and start taking videos.

 

DAPHNE

IT'S A CLASSIC COSTA RICAN COCK FIGHT!!! WHO WILL WIN!!! MAKE YOUR BETS HERE!!!

 

A bunch of kids start giving her money, betting on who's gonna win the fight.

 

The Mr. Poo enters the scene.

 

MR.POO

FIGHT!! FIGHT!! FIGHT!!! FIGHT!! (As if cheering them on, students join in. Soon everybody is chanting.)

 

Penelope arrives extremely mad and furious. She struggles to get through the circle of people around the fight. When she gets to the middle of the circle she yells:

 

PENELOPE

The person who is still here in the next 5 seconds will get one hundred demerits!!!!!!

 

Everybody that was surrounding the fight suddenly split leaving behind: Daphne, Mr. Poo, JC, and Dougie. Mr. Poo and Daphne are discussing who would have won the fight.

 

MR.POO

What a party pooper, amiright? JC was just about to tap him out!

 

DAPHNE

You're kidding right? You saw how Dougie had him under his thumb?

 

PENELOPE

Mr. Poo, would you mind helping me with something. (In a really sweet voice)

 

MR.POO

Sure what is it?

 

PENELOPE

Oh, I don't know, maybe. DOING YOUR JOB!!!!!

 

MR.POO

Oh yes. Yes. Everyone along now get out of here-- scurry off. Penelope, could you remind me where my office is again, please?

 

Penelope points towards his office.

 

MR.POO

Thank you Penelope.

 

JC

I'll never forgive you for this. (Directed at Dougie)

 

DOUGIE

Oh yeah? Well same! This shirt isn't gonna be freaking cheap to clean.

 

MR.POO

Okay, okay. Let's all calm down. We've all lost something today. Most importantly my car keys, has any of you have seen them around?

 

All exit stage.

SCENE XII: Counseling Session

Characters: Azhar, Dougie, Daphne, and Mr. Poo

 

Dougie is sitting on the ground, clearly upset. Azhar approaches  and sits next to him eating some nachos.

 

AZHAR

(Looks at nachos, laughs) Well, this is ironic isn’t it.

 

DOUGIE

Buenos noches Azhar.

 

AZHAR

Yes, yes, Dougie. These are some buenos nachos. Anyways, hey! What is wrong, man? You seem to be in a world of distress.

 

DOUGIE

Hard to explain. Just don’t feel right lately. What should I do?

 

AZHAR

Sounds like you lost your mojo. Is this about that fight earlier? Have you tried talking to the counselor, Mr. Poo?

 

DOUGIE

Mr. Poo! Nobody goes and talks to Mr. Poo. I thought the only option as a high school student was to bottle up your emotions and pretend everything is fine?

 

(Awkward silence)

 

AZHAR

Um… Not quite, Dougie. Mr. Poo is great. I heard he is even helping Xander with his drinking problem!

 

DOUGIE

Okay, well, maybe I will give it a shot.

 

AZHAR

Just don’t give it to Xander.

 

Dougie wanders into Mr. Poo’s office, as Daphne (drug dealer) is completing an exchange with him and walking out.


 

MR. POO

You must be Dougie. I was sensing you would be here. Take a seat.

 

DOUGIE

Sensing I would be here… wh… what does that mean?

 

MR. POO

Don’t worry about it, grasshopper. What is on your mind, grasshopper?

 

DOUGIE

Well, I am afraid too much is on my mind. I don’t know what it is, but life keeps getting me down. We live on quiet mountain, the most beautiful mountain in the world, yet I am still struggling to keep my spirits up. I don’t know if it’s trying to figure out what clique to join, the schoolwork, my parents pressuring me, my brother, but I just feel like all I do is lose lose lose no matter what.

 

MR. POO

Oh Dougie. Dougie, Dougie, Dougie. I wish I could relate. Never went to high school.

 

DOUGIE

Oh, well… thanks. But aren’t you our school counselor, Mr. Poo.

 

MR. POO

Yes, that is what they call me. Even though I didn’t attend high school, I am a wise old man, and have spent a lot of time here at Quiet Mountain. I can tell you this, Dougie: the spirit of High School is to be lost, to be confused. There is no high school student who is not lost, there are just some who are better at hiding it than others.

 

DOUGIE

That is kind of… depressing.

 

MR. POO

I am not finished, grasshopper. If the end goal is for us to find our way, then it was only inevitable that we get lost. You will find your way, Dougie. You just need a new mindset.

 

DOUGIE

A new mindset?

 

MR. POO

Yes. A new mindset. Starting tomorrow, you are going to tell yourself that you are the happiest kid on the planet, and that everything is going to be alright. If you keep reminding yourself that, there is a good chance it might come true.

 

DOUGIE

Sounds like a gimmick, no offense Mr. Poo.

 

MR. POO

Oh, but it is no gimmick. I am simply trying to relieve you of your suffering. If you follow my advice, your dreams can all come true. I want YOU to teach the world how to Dougie.



 

SCENE XIII: Closing

Characters: Britney and Quinn

 

BRITNEY

So Quinn, Spill!

 

QUINN

Spill what!?

 

BRITNEY

How was your first day, did you make any friends, did you find any clubs or teams?

 

QUINN

Well I met some people, but it was just a lot! I guess it’s the first day though..

 

BRITNEY

I know what you need.

 

QUINN

Some sushi.

 

BRITNEY

Hahaha that too, we can totally swing by AKA (pronounced A K A), but what you really really need is a party!

 

QUINN

That would be super fun but I haven’t heard of any and I probably wouldn’t even be invited.

 

BRITNEY

Quinn, seriously? Im throwing you a party.

 

QUINN

WHAT! BRITNEY NO!

 

BRITNEY

Nope, it’s settled, you need to get out there and see what The QM is really about.

 

QUINN

Fine, but I’m helping okay!

 

BRITNEY

Um duh!

 

Turns to audience and breaks 4th wall

 

PARTY AT BRITNEY'S HOUSE NEXT EPISODE, THANK YOU ALL FOR COMING OUT!


Scene

    Hawai'i Preparatory Academy

    65-1692 Kohala Mountain Road

    Kamuela, Hawaii, 96743

    Copyright 2018